on marriage

Recently, I've been pondering on the questions regarding the role of a wife in marriage and found some stuffs from my old treasure chest that i've written long ago.. Really really long ago.. (from a December 21, 2005 entry.. real old one)

From Let Me Be A Woman, p88
1. You don't marry a man with the idea of complete renovation. But you marry somebody to whom you are willing to adjust. And not be like the lady in "My Fair Lady" who'll
redecorate your home
from the cellar to the dome
and then go on to the enthralling fun
of overhauling you!!

2. You are going to marry a husband, so you should treat him as such. He cannot be expected to perform duties of a brother or of a father. He stands in a relationship to you which is totally new and unique and it is going to require a measure of maturity for both of you to enter into it.

3. Your husband is known fully only to God, and stands in a sense alone before Him. God said to Abraham: "Walk before Me and be thou perfect. Ultimately he is God man. He did not suggest that Abraham could walk before Sarah and be perfect. Ultimately he is God's man. He is free and you must always reverence this freedom. There are qustions you have no right to ask. Matters into which you must not probe, and secrets you must be content never to know.

4. When you decide to marry this particular sinner you have committed yourself to putting up with his particular sins even though you don't have a clear idea of what they will be.

5. Snoring is the sweetest music in the world, ask any widow. Husbands need our appreciation. A perspective of losing your husband even for a short while will bring you back into perspective.

6. When times comes to be monotonous, and the spellbinding football leader/quarterback he used to be didn't shine anymore, your responsibility now is not merely to bat your eyelashes and tell him how wonderful he is, but to appreciate, genuinely and deeply, what he is, to support and encourage and draw out of him those qualities that you originally saw and admitted.

7. For a man to call his wife "mommy" is a dead giveaway. The magic has gone out of the marriage. Is he her lover still, or has he become her little boy? is this relationship that is still growing toward maturity. Or is it regressing?